Slush for Brains

Been thinking a little today about marriage and my utter failure(s) at that highly overrated institution.  Well okay, I've been to church tonight and got a good dose of scripture referring to the aforementioned.

Once upon a time, I married a great guy and had two wonderful children.  But as time passed, he began to change and I began to change, only not in the same direction.  Our eventual divorce changed not only our lives, but the lives of our children.  If I had it to do over again, I would have stayed in that disaster at least until the children were grown, maybe even always, just for them.  The divorce was still the right thing for us personally, but not for them.  There are sacrifices, and then there are sacrifices.

Then when I was in my mid-30's, I married a man that my family disliked immediately upon introduction.  I never knew why (and still don't) but I was madly in love.  It was a difficult time period (seven years) but I did love him deeply.  He eventually moved on to someone he thought he loved more and that was EXTREMELY hard for me to swallow and get through to the other side.

The other side being where I am now.  I am divorced and have been since he left.  12 years now, I think.  I have finally figured out who I really am and what makes me happy.  My family, my church, my friends and sometimes even my job.  But most of all I figured out that I don't need someone ELSE to make me happy.  I can be happy within myself.  Besides that, I have gotten comfortable with ME and I am no longer willing to adapt to someone else's little peculiarities.

Back to church tonight and scripture.....I made a LOT of mistakes along the way and all kidding aside, marriage is to be sacred and honored between two people who make a life together.  I'm just not willing to risk the hurt again.....